Family Archives - Page 2 of 12 - Conversations through the middle

Summer photos from North Essex

June 5, 2013

What a difference a few months makes. Walking the dog today I was stunned by the changes in the wood since my last visit, obviously the snow has gone but the plants and trees – everything has just shot up, the oilseed rape was almost as tall as I was in the fields and poor little Spice was hidden by the grass. If you need a reminder of what this view looked like not that long ago then take a look here

Down in our neck of the woods in North Essex it really was a gorgeous day and these photos sum up the beauty and heat (yes, heat not just warmth) we were lucky enough to experience. We were two thirsty walkers when we got home. I love summer.

Preteens – Dot is bored and I don’t know what to do

May 15, 2013

Dot when she was easier to handle

I’m at a bit of a loss parenting-wise. I know being a parent is hard work – and children don’t come with a manual for how to get it right – but this time, coming up to her 12th birthday, seems to me to be the hardest bit so far.

Her terrible twos were terrible and her troublesome threes none the less so. She has always been very strong willed and I didn’t cope so well with the toddler years – the tantrums, screaming and all that comes with them. When they’re that age though you can scoop them up and carry them away with you to wherever it is you want to go and they don’t. You can’t do that when they’re almost teenagers.

Dot is very nearly as tall as I am, she is healthy and strong – and if she doesn’t want to do something how in the hell do I get her to do it? Add hormones into the mix and I’m on a hiding to nothing.

She’s bored – school is boring, her creative writing club is boring, lessons are boring. She decided she wasn’t going to school this morning because she has maths and geography and – yes, that’s right, they’re boring.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had this refusal to go to school and it is becoming more frequent. I have tried reasoning with her, ended up shouting at her, grounding her, taking away her computer/DS/XBox/tablet privileges. So far, eventually, I’ve got her there. But what happens the day none of that works?

We came close this morning I think. I didn’t lose my temper I’m glad to say. I did reason with her and at several points I thought I was getting through, then the tears came – hers. After the crying the stubbornness and point blank refusal to go. I threatened to ring the school and tell them she refused to attend and I tried to explain to her what the results of that phone call could be – meetings with the head, possible intervention by education officials…

I have no idea if that would happen, but I don’t want to get to the point of finding out.

She is growing up, but at the same time she’s still a little girl. Her mood is all over the place and I know that’s because of puberty. She doesn’t need me as much, but doesn’t realise how much she still does need me. There’s a lot of upheaval at home at the moment also, which doesn’t help and which is affecting her. But despite all of this, she still has to go to school.

So as I said, I’m at a bit of a loss…

If you have children of a similar age or older, are you having or did you have the same issues we are having and if so, how did you cope with the situation? Am I worrying about nothing? I want somebody to tell me it will all be alright in the end. I’m very conscious this is a vulnerable time for Dot and I want to get it right – but I don’t know what to do for the best much of the time.

Pets in plant pots – oh yes

April 25, 2013

Oh my goodness, I know it’s been ages but life got in the way. Not in a good way, more in a work-I-have-bills-to-pay way, and despite my best intentions I didn’t have the energy or the inclination after 10 hours a day at the computer.

It seems though that the laugh may be on me. I hope to God I’m wrong, but it’s looking very much like I’m not going to get the money owed to me for the work I did, that I will have to chase the company that owes me through the courts and even after that, even with a court judgement against them, they may not pay. How fair is that? It’s a rant for another day – ‘Does freelancer mean skivvy these days and where do companies get off treating us like something on the bottom of their shoe’.

And soooooooo in the spirit of not letting it get to me and not depressing you, dear readers (that’s if I’ve got any left after my prolonged absence) I present to you….

Kitty in a plant pot and Bunny in a plant pot. I don’t know why but this is the favoured seat for both Rosie Raditt (our cat) and Cookie AKA Mrs Bun (our rabbit).

The two of them sit in plant pots for hours at a time, awake or asleep, it doesn’t seem to matter. Still, as long as they’re happy. Have you seen the size of her ruff – she is as big as the cats and they run away from her. Does anybody else have pets with strange quirks? Let me know, I’d love a laugh xx

Why Mother’s Day is the happiest – and saddest – time

March 11, 2013

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and it was the noisiest Mother’s Day I have ever experienced, with Dot shouting even more than usual. Don’t get me wrong, it was lovely and she made me the most beautiful card, but boy can she shout.

It’s always a funny day for me – on the one hand I have my own Dot now, and it’s a very special time with her; on the other hand I don’t have my mam anymore, which is very painful. Usually it’s more a constant dull ache than a sharp pain – it will be 30 years this August since she died – but Mother’s Day is one of those times when it hurts like it happened yesterday.

I have seen lots of blog posts about yesterday, but I couldn’t bring myself to read them all. I suppose Mother’s Day brings out the selfish me in a way – I don’t want to read about other people being happy with their mums when my mam isn’t here with me.

Here she is, before she was married, before she was a mam. She is beautiful. She was the kindest, happiest soul you could ever meet.

And here she is in 1981, in Australia, visiting family

My mam x