Conversations through the middle

Life from a (slightly) more mature perspective

Justice it isn’t, but life goes on


I have been hit hard financially this week by a client who owed me money getting away with it – and this despite winning a court case and a CJJ against his company. I found out yesterday and I’m not exaggerating when I say the news has knocked me for six. 

Last night I could not stop crying and I could feel a dark cloud closing around me. Today I’ve slept a lot and worried, thought black thoughts about him and against him – and against the law. How can it be that somebody who does something so despicable gets away scot-free? I thought laws were supposed to protect innocent parties from being shafted – in my case I did a lot of work for him and he has just not paid me.
 

I’m slowly rallying now. I’ve paid a few bills, paid my rent, checked my bank account and I’m still in credit. There’s a fridge full of food, the cupboards are well-stocked and we have a roof over our heads, at least for now. That’s a lot more than many people in the world, in this country even, have and for that I’m thankful. 

I’m not going to waste any more time fretting and getting worked up about this man/company and what he has done; life is truly too short to waste even one breath, one second, on such a person. 

All that’s left for me to do now is to put the whole awful episode behind me and get on with life, making a living and creating a beautiful future for my daughter and me.

Filed in: Uncategorised • by •

Welcome Cosmo kitty

We have a new member of the family – Cosmo the kitten came to live with us from Newcastle Dog and Cat Shelter a couple of weeks ago and he is settling into life as the baby of the family fabulously.

Dot has wanted a kitten for ages and now seemed a good time to go ahead. Not only has she a lot of love to give but I’m hoping Cosmo will help her settle in our new home and ease this transition in her life and the change in our family.

He is the cutest little kitty, but he’s a sod as well, always playing, play fighting and climbing up the furniture. Not just the furniture – he mountain climbs up my legs using his claws as crampons, hanging on to my jeans until he reaches my knee while I’m sitting at the computer. Or he hangs off my slippers as I walk across the kitchen, or stops Dot sleeping at night by batting her on the head, demanding she play with him. Every night he starts off in Dot’s room, door open; every morning he’s on the landing, Dot’s door closed, Cosmo banished from the comfy bed and reduced to jumping on Rosie, our other cat.

Ah Rosie, almost 18 years old and not impressed by this new pipsqueak in her life. He lies in wait for her and jumps on her, he chases her tail and tries to steal her tea. Our grand dame retaliated at first by hissing, but now she just clobbers him with a regal paw. Not that that stops him, as soon as she’s not looking he’s chasing her tail and jumping on her again. I think she secretly likes him – they are gradually lying nearer each other when they sleep and I don’t think it will be long before they are curled up close.

Not that he sleeps much. He has sooo much energy and is always running around, he doesn’t stop. Oh to have that much energy and find that much fun in life! He’s a total whirlwind, then just when you think he’s not going to stop, ever, he conks out. Sparko. Purring and asleep. Quiet and cuddly. Adorable.

Filed in: Uncategorised • by •

Cook up a feast – book review

Mary Berry’s latest offering is a paperback version of her Cook Up a Feast, which caters specifically to large families, events and celebrations. The recipes are calculated to serve six or 12 and cover a whole range of occasions from informal lunches to swish dinner parties. The most I’ve ever catered for apart from kids’ parties (and I don’t think marmite sandwiches and fairy cakes count here really) is seven people – my family when growing up – and the thought of having to work out timings and courses preparing food for a crowd brings me out in a cold sweat. Timing is not really my forte as Dot would probably tell you if you asked her. 

This book is full of helpful tips, advice on planning, creating an atmosphere, preparation and freezing food, as well as recipes covering starters, mains, desserts, drinks and of course baking. Whether it’s a stand-up buffet, sit-down dinner party, afternoon tea or picnic Mary and her co-author Lucy Young serve up recipes to help get you through them all.

I would say that a lot of the recipes include lots of ingredients, so if like me, you tend to be attracted towards the simpler the better, don’t be frightened. They all look doable as far as I can see and the instructions are all clearly laid out on the page.

I haven’t tried cooking any of the dishes yet, but I’ve got my eye on the coffee and walnut cupcakes (damn you sweet tooth), and I think I’ll try the Hot Mustard Spiced Beef in my slow cooker later this week.

Cook up a Feast is out today and costs £14.99 from Dorling Kindersley www.dk.com

Filed in: Uncategorised • by •

Single parent stigma


I have just read this article on the Gingerbread website, written by author JK Rowling http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/1901/J-K-Rowling. I don’t know how I came to be there – I’ve been enjoying myself browsing the web this afternoon, having submitted my tax return with almost 11 hours to spare until the midnight deadline, woo hoo – but there I was. I’m shocked. Read the article and read the comments underneath and tell me if you’re not shocked too. It’s not the content that left me gobsmacked, it’s the attitude that JK and those commenting have come across as single parents. What century are we living in for God’s sake? How can people still have this outdated, stereotypical view of single parents, their children, their place in society and their morals? It’s the sort of thing I expect to see in Call the Midwife, an attitude from the darker days before women’s lib when women stayed at home to raise babies and cook dinners, not an attitude I thought was rife in 21st century life. 

Women have fought hard for equality; laws have been passed to improve our status in society, laws that are supposed to give us the same rights and respect as those afforded to men. Are male single-parents subject to the same stigma? I wonder.

I’ve only just become a single parent and I can see I have a lot to learn. I receive child and working tax credits as I only work part-time. I hope I will also receive help with my council tax and yes, perhaps even my rent. I will not be made to feel ashamed by this. I have spent my adult life paying into a system and society that discriminates against the poor and brands people on benefits as scroungers! It’s not me who needs to feel ashamed.

Filed in: Uncategorised • by •